Love Bomb tells me that Nicole and Baby Wrenn need some love! Baby Wrenn has a rare genetic disease, and her family is moving her to St. Louis to be closer to better treatment. She’s only a few months old, and the surgery she needs is life-threatening at this point.

I helped at a funeral this morning, and one of the things the pastor shared was that even on your very worst day, you can still make God look His very best. I thought that was  really cool. I posted it as my Facebook status, and several of my friends “liked” it. One even commented that “God always wears His best clothes. … and puts a smile on!” It made me smile. 🙂

Tenth Avenue North’s “Break Me Down” really hit me last night—-or rather, way early this morning. Like, midnight-ish. I was listening to my Over and Underneath CD before going to bed and it really struck me. Their music has always held a spot in my heart, ever since I first heard “By Your Side” or “Hold My Heart” on the radio, but last night I made a realization. I actually listened to the words, considered them, and came to a startling conclusion.
 
Lyrics italicized, my thoughts bolded:
 
I feel you falling
Like the rain against my skin

Rain is pretty easy to feel most of the time. It can be comforting, or it can be annoying. It depends on how heavy it is, etc.

I hear you calling
Your voice like thunder in my head

Thunder = intense. Is God’s voice intense like thunder?
Not right now, for me.
But I hope to change that.

But now I am stalling
Cause I’m afraid to let you in
Come break me down with your mercy
Come break me down again

Stalling? Pretty much.
Afraid to let Him in? Yeah, I think I am.
Need Him to break me down? Most definitely.

I’m yours tonight
I’m yours if you can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I’m yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won’t you break me down

If He’s able to do what Joshua did at Jericho, I’m His.

I feel it inside me
I feel you underneath my skin

Whoa. Feel Him underneath my skin? Is that how it’s supposed to be?

These walls could not hide me
They could not keep you from you coming in

Oh, so true.
Remember Jonah? He could’t get away from God no matter how hard he tried.
And David talked about not being able to flee from God’s Spirit in Psalm 139.

So now here you find me
Right back to where I began
Come break me down with your mercy
Come break me down again

I’m yours tonight
I’m yours if you can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I’m yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won’t you break me down

I need your strength to feel this weak

Wait, what? Need God’s strength to feel weak? How does that work?

And I need your touch to feel my need
And I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me break me set me free

Yes, sir. Or ma’am.
I do need Him to carry me.

I need your strength to feel this weak
And I need your touch to feel my need
And I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me bring me to my knees

I’m yours tonight
I’m yours if you can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I’m yours tonight
Come and break me down
Won’t you break me down

For the last several nights, I’ve listened to this CD at bedtime and during several of the songs, I’ve just held my arms out and kept my eyes closed, trying to soak in whatever I can. It’s kind of a complusion, something I’ve been trying to do more often.

At Bible Camp when I was younger, I never understood why people raised their arms while they were singing, unless it was to do actions associated with the song.

As I got older, I learned that it was a form of worship. Still, I felt really awkward doing it.

Then, in 2006 at CHIC, I started doing it.

And again in 2009.

After that, the urge faded somewhat, and I’ve struggled with it.

Now, I’ve coninced myself that if I get the urge to raise my hands in worship, I should.

So I do. Not as often as I feel like, because I’m still self-conscious, but I’m working on it.

I figure that raising my hands is a sign of release, of being broken down by God, as the song says.

Anyway. That’s what I’ve been learning lately.

Psalm 89:40
Psalm 51:17

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