And I’m going to write a letter to my own Prince Charming, whoever he may be.
For my future Prince:
In the words of Rebecca St. James: Darling did you know that I, I dream about you, waiting for the look in your eyes when we meet for the first time. … Darling did you know I dream about life together, knowing it will be forever. I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine. And darling when I say “‘Til death do us part,” I’ll mean it with all of my heart. Now and always faithful to you.
To be completely honest, my prince, I struggle. Sometimes the fear that I’ll never find you overpowers everything else and makes me want to cry.
Sometimes I dream of getting married, and then I regret it because it makes me long for it even more. Is that supposed to happen? Am I supposed to long that much for a relationship? So much that it’s all I think about for days? So much that it makes me think things I probably shouldn’t?
I have standards. Some may say they’re too high, but they’re criteria I would love for you to fit. I typed out some of them a long time ago:
~Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
~Make me smile/laugh.
~Know how to make me feel better when I’m down.
~Keep your promises.
~Understand (and be able to handle!) me.
~Be supportive of and dedicated to your friends/family.
~Challenge me spiritually and let me do the same.
~Let me hug you when I need/want to.
~Don’t pressure me/others into anything.
~Care more for inner beauty than outer.
~Companionable silence would be cool.
~On the flip side, discussing everything and nothing would rock, too.
~Be willing to wait.
~Remind me constantly of why you love me, and I will do the same.
~Surprise me sometimes.
~Have some of the same interests as I do, but have your own hobbies; allow me to have my own hobby-time, too. And encourage me in my my hobbies, and I’ll encourage you.
(These last few I added now, as I was thinking about them.)
I would also love if you, my prince, were from Australia, or could at least imitate the accent (because accents = <3), and for you to be taller than I am. Oh, and dark hair and green eyes would be freakin’ awesome. And I have this thing about “nerds”… If you were like Riley Poole (of “National Treasure”), I would be THRILLED. But these things are not required.
I want you to be you.
I want for us to be able to grow in Christ together, to just hang out and be together without worrying about pressure or anything.
So you know, I hate needles. Actually, pain in general. Physical or emotional. I like to think of myself as an emotionally strong person, but lately I’ve discovered that’s not really true. I’m afraid of having my heart broken, and I’m pretty sure that’s easy to do. I’m afraid that if I commit to something, and it fails, that I’ll end up broken and crying forever. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to be bitter. I want ours to be a lasting relationship, a Forever Friendship, with no potential for it ever ending and my heart getting broken.
Also, I can’t stand to see other people in pain. I would much rather it be me taking the beating than the people I care about.
It sounds ridiculous and unattainable, but I would love to be able to say that you were my “one and only,” my first and last and only boyfriend. I want to be able to tell people that you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy and that I didn’t have to search forever to find you.
I want to meet you NOW (soon), and spend the rest of my college years (and life in general) getting to know you.
I want to know your quirks, your likes and dislikes, your gifts and abilities, your heart.
I want to memorize your smile, your laugh, the sparkle in your eyes, the different tones of your voice.
I want to be able to tell by your voice and your eyes what you’re thinking and feeling.
I want to spend my free time talking and laughing with you about everything and nothing.
I want there to be no pressure for anything beyond friendship at this point, to gradually build up to more.
I want for you to know everything about me, too: my likes and dislikes, my quirks, mygifts and abilities, my heart.
I want for us to be able to share our dreams, our hearts, our passions, our desires, and to encourage each other.
I want for us to complement (and compliment…) each other, for everything about us to fit together and make us a whole, like Kovu and Kiara, especially at the end of the scene. (Oh, and I’d love for you to love Disney as much I do!)
I am growing, my prince. I am learning new things every day, about life and about myself, and I hope you see that.
I hope that you’re able to accept me the way I am, or help me become better.
I hope that you can see beyond my ridiculous sense of humor and my eccentricities and take me the way I am.
I hope that you can help me overcome my fears of not being enough, and being too much all at once.
I hope that you can help me wrap my head around this “beauty” thing, and that you see me as beautiful inside and out.
Today, I make the commitment to pray for you.
Today, I make the commitment to pray for me.
Today, I make the commitment to pray for us.
Today, I make the commitment to pray for patience (because LORD knows I need it).
I want to be able to say that I was faithful to you, my prince, and I would love for you to be able to say the same thing. But there’s forgivness and a second chance. I pray that if you make a mistake, I’m able to forgive you. And I pray that should I make a mistake, you will forgive me.
I want for Song of Solomon to be our love story, for God to write it into our lives as seamlessly as He inspired Solomon to write those eight chapters, those 100 and something (117, I think?) verses.
I want to be able to hear and believe SoS 2:2 and 4:7.
But more importantly, I want for us to love each unconditionally, to take each day as it comes, and to not sweat the little things.
I want us to be an inspiration for other people, and to be a lasting reminder of everything good in this world.
Whoever you are, and whatever your appearance, occupation, or anything else may be, I promise to wait for you and to love you more every day, my darling prince.
With my whole heart,
Your (striving-to-be) Patient Princess