In [my last post] (wow, it took me another three days to type this), I began a discussion of guys, crushes, etc.
I admitted to having crushes (on mostly “nerdy” boys).
What I had yet to touch on (and why I wanted to split this into parts) was dating, and love in general. This will probably continue on into the month of February, as the month’s theme is “The ‘L’ Word” – Love. Also, because of this, my small group co-leader and I have decided that this is a good opportunity to broach the subject of dating, sex, etc, with our girls (using both the devotional we’re going through now, and some other stuff. I have some music in mind, etc.). So. That’ll be interesting.
But now to my part.
Google “dating” and you will first be bombarded with dating websites. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but… I don’t think it’s a route I’ll be going—at least not any time soon. I don’t necessarily condemn online dating; it’s something to be careful with, just as face-to-face interactions should be.
(Click photo for source.)
The definition of dating can be broken down like [this], among other things.
I’ll be honest: I struggle with this. A lot.
Sometimes I want a boyfriend, and other times I think it’s stupid.
Sometimes thinking about K + J makes me jealous, but always I am happy for her (and him! :)).
I try to always keep this song in mind:
No more dating, I’m just waiting… ‘Cause God is writing my love story.
Also, when I was in… ninth grade? I read Joshua Harris’s I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It solidified the “no more dating” idea. When I told my mom of my decision to not date, she asked me what would happen if I got asked out.
Excuse me while I snort. 😛
Yeah, that never happened. Well, except for that one time, which ended awkwardly… (The first “nerd” boy, who was like a brother to me? Everyone assumed we were dating, and after 10th grade, he asked me the “what if we did date” thing. I wasn’t as “into” the idea as he was… It was awkward.)
But my answer was basically “I’ll just be honest and tell them that I don’t believe in dating in high school and if they have a problem with it, forget them.” Anyone who doesn’t respect my views is not worth dating. Sorry.
My personal opinion of dating is that it should be saved until a person is ready to get married. It is not something to take lightly. I know several people who have dated multiple people. One gal informed me that her shortest relationship lasted for something like an hour. WHAT? That’s ridiculous. That’s not even a relationship. This girl has had multiple boyfriends. She’s like 18 and it seems every month is a new boy. This saddens me. I mean, I know you want to find the right guy, but… I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go through multiple relationships (and heartbreaks) before I find the right guy. (This is something that I’ll cover in Love or some other later post.) I’ve always thought it would be amazing to be able to say that my husband was my first and only boyfriend.
I did state [here] that “I want to be secure in my identity in Christ before I begin dating or anything. I want to be able to see myself the way God sees me so that I’ll be ready to hear “You’re beautiful” from other people and actually believe it.”
Now, I don’t necessarily condemn anybody for dating in high school or anything (heck, my sister is on Boy #2!), but it’s my personal belief that it’s not the greatest idea. [A very small percentage of high school relationships actually last], you know. =\
Plus, YP mentioned to me a while back that kids who date in high school need to be careful to not get too attached or clingy (like one young lady I know of…).
I’ll give you a quick run-down of my beliefs for when I DO start dating (whenever that is):
- Pay close attention to how the other person is around people, etc. You’re potentially marrying them; you want to know what they’re like, right? Get to know them BEFORE you start dating.
- Hand-holding, to my brain, is one of those “can’t be separated; you’re mine and nobody else’s” types of things. Erg. Maybe that view will change, but… for now, no.
- Personally, saving the first kiss ’til the wedding day, probably. Cheek is all right; it’s normal in some cultures as a greeting, yeah? But forehead… not so much. That’s more intimate. To me, anyway.
- PDA in general… yeah, no. Arouses too much want of things that honestly ought to be saved until marriage. [Song of Songs 2:7], anyone?
- DOUBLE-DATING! Or group. Or just not being alone for too long. Too much temptation. At least one other person in the house/room/general vicinity.
- No sex before marriage. I once heard/read an illustration for kissing that I feel can apply to this, too: if it’s not your future spouse, it’s someone else’s. (This doesn’t mean you can’t be forgiven. But that’ll be covered in one of the later posts!)
So. That’s the Dating post. I’ll probably get a Love one up later on and continue with the “series” as February’s lesson series gets going.
This is kinda long, again, but hey. I haven’t posted in two days, and it’s an interesting, complex topic.