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Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like ****.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough *** days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Hmm…

Well.

This will be interesting.

I’ve never actually admitted this out loud to anyone.

You can be my “accountability partner,” I guess, huh?

I wish that I hadn’t read some things.

And by “some things” I mean “some things that pertain to sexuality and sexual acts.

Here’s the deal:

When I was in Junior High, I was what we’d call a “latch-key kid”: my parents worked, and my sister got done with school later than I did. Thus, I was home by myself for a period of time.

It started out innocently enough: I visited a few websites, none of which you’d really call “bad.”

But then one day, I did something I shouldn’t have done.

I clicked on the “Mature” rating.

Because, you know, I was pretty mature for a 13-year-old. (In hindsight/retrospect, I was not.)

So I clicked on things that were rated “M”–AKA, unless you’re over 18, don’t read them.

They made it so easy: all you had to do was check “Yes” to the “Are you over 18” question. Anybody can do that.

Anyway.

I read some things I shouldn’t have.

Some of these things that were rated “M” were really not all that graphic or descriptive at all, so I don’t know why the rating was there.

But some of them…

Yeah, I shouldn’t be reading some of that stuff NOW, and I was reading it at 13.

Eventually I realized I had a little bit of a problem, and tried to stop.

Which I did successfully, for a while.

And then I’d go to this site again and the cycle would start all over again.

I think at first I figured I could control it to the point where I would go to the site but not click on the “M”-rated stuff.

Yeah, that didn’t work very well.

And after a while I started seeking it out elsewhere–I’d use Google to find other stuff. Which was a bad idea.

So I’ve cut that one particular website, the one that started it all, out altogether.

To be honest, I haven’t even thought about in … several years. Five, maybe? Haven’t visited the site in at least five years, I’d say.

Which is a good thing.

I still occasionally come across things that I realize partway through “I shouldn’t be reading this”, but for the most part, I avoid that kind of stuff. Or try.

Now I come across that kind of stuff on other websites that I am thinking about cutting out.

The LOL series (icanhascheezburger, ihasahotdot, Failbook, etc), for example.

Some of the posts are things that relate to things I learned when reading the things I shouldn’t have read.

But the majority, I’d say, are pretty clean. So I probably won’t be giving up my daily dose of LOL in the near future.

I also hear this stuff “in real life,” too.

Just a few weeks ago, one of my (high school-aged) coworkers had to try to explain something (a number thing; all I’m giving you) to another coworker. I knew what it was because of stuff I’d read on the Internet, and was reluctant to explain it to her. It was awkward. And when she finally understood (after asking a couple of other our-age-ish coworkers), she regretted asking. (And we found out something about someone that kind of worried me, but didn’t necessarily surprise me.)

So. That’s my “I wish I hadn’t” answer…

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