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So I realized sometime after posting yesterday’s… post… that I’d forgotten about Flawless Friday!!

But then I realized that today’s post topic would fit FF okay. So, here we go!

Flawless Friday!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like ****.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough *** days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

To answer today’s question:


I have felt like giving up on life.

More times than I can count.

Perhaps next week after I get home (currently house-sitting. #onemoreday!  (Can you tell I enjoy Twitter? ;))) I’ll give you a glimpse into some of my journals from some crappy times.

For now, though, I’ll just share the basics.

The main reason I have ever felt like giving up is basically because nobody cares.

Or, at least, that’s how it feels.

It feels like nobody cares.

It feels like nobody’s listening.

It feels like there’s nobody to turn to.

It feels like the entire world is conspiring against you.

It feels like nothing is going right.

I felt alone.

But it was all in my head.

That’s the thing.

I was making myself believe that I was alone, unloveable, and worthless.

I was pulling myself deeper and deeper into this pit of despair.

I can’t tell you how many times I thought about suicide.

I never really talked about it with anyone, but inside, I was struggling.

And then the littlest thing would pull me out of the pit.

Like today.

I wasn’t necessarily depressed, but I was feeling kind of blah.

During my lunch break, I ran into a couple from church, who said hello and stuff.

And then she told me that can always tell me when I’m running screen at church, because the timing is pretty much perfect.

I smiled for the next couple of hours.

It made.my.day.

It made me feel wanted, loved, and valued.

If today had been an even worse day, or week (and it’s been an interesting week), that comment would’ve pulled me out of it, probably.

All it takes is one little thing.

You never know what people are feeling.

We’re good at masking our feelings when we really want to.

We’re good at ignoring the truth, to be honest. If we don’t like something, we tend to our backs on it and pretend it doesn’t exist.

This is dangerous. Like in situations where someone is struggling. Sometimes we can tell, but we’re not sure what to do about it, so we ignore it.

We really ought to quit ignoring it.

Um. Wow. That turned into a bit of a rant, didn’t it? Haha.

Mkay, I’m done now. 🙂