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By this time on Wednesday, I will be at school.

Probably eating lunch or something.

I will be mostly moved-in.

I will most likely be crying.

That is not the first impression I want my roommate (and everyone else on campus) to have of me, the weird girl crying her eyes out.

I was kind of hoping that crying last night (actually at 1:30 this morning) would’ve gotten rid of my tears and made it possible to not cry on Wednesday… But knowing me, that’s not happening.

I will cry.

I will look ridiculous.

I will need a lot of Kleenex.

Tonight was my last shift at work.

My last round of deliveries.

It wasn’t terrible, which was good. I didn’t want my last shift to be insane.

My coworkers surprised me with a card and chocolate. I honestly hadn’t expected much from anybody, and then I find a card and a bag of chocolate waiting for me after deliveries??? I work with awesome people.

I’m hoping tomorrow and Wednesday and the rest of the week goes smoothly.

I’m hoping that I don’t cry too much, or that I wait until I have nothing else to do before breaking down. Because there are plenty of activities this week, and I was invited to join a group specifically for transfer students.

I’m mostly packed.

I have a giant suitcase full of clothes, plus two big tubs full of stuff, plus two boxes filled with random other stuff. Oh, and my backpack full of electronic and school stuff.

Hopefully it all fits in the car. Heh.

Plus I’m bringing my bike—for the next couple of months, at least.

I’ll be able to get around by walking and carpooling, and there’s a shuttle around campus.

Everyone is telling me they’re excited for me and that I’ll be fine, but… I can’t help feeling uncertain and even wanting to cry when I think about leaving.

I have learned a lot in the last year, and I know that I can do this.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous.

I’m afraid of not fitting in, of not finding good friends, of being too shy, of being too scared.

Last night Early this morning as I cried, I also wrote. A little. A sort-of prayer.

I know that I haven’t been spending as much time with God as I should be. But this week is probably going to change that.

I’m hoping to get back into reading more than just a verse and a passage from my Max Lucado book.

I’m hoping to start spending more time in prayer.

Because I need to.

I’m nervous, but everyone who knows I’m leaving has been so supportive and encouraging.

I’m very grateful for that.

~*~

My sister is supposed to be getting her ex-boyfriend’s pet chinchilla in the day couple of days.

I asked her yesterday when she was getting it, and she said either today, tomorrow, or Wednesday.

Gee, how specific.

You’d think you’d have a more specific trimeframe. Especially since the ex-boyfriend moves soon.

I guess his parents want the chinchilla out of the house now that he’s going off to school too? Whatever.

I want to hold a chinchilla before I leave for school, please.

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