I’m kind of morbid.
I’m okay with that.
Let me explain:
I think about “negative” circumstances. Probably more than normal people do.
Not necessarily death, although sometimes, yes, I do think about how I might die.
But for the last several years, starting when I was probably in junior high or high school, I’ve had this weird fascination with “good from bad” kinds of situations.
My guess is that this stemmed from many episodes of Law & Order or CSI or something.
Most of the time it centers around me being injured and having to learn to get used to it and make the best of the situation.
I’ll admit, the morbid daydreaming did start to get more frequent after my best friend died.
It started out with a car accident: my family driving home from our family Christmas party and getting into an accident and me being the only survivor and ending up staying with one of the pastors or a youth leader.
But over time it has morphed into a slightly stranger story.
In these weird daydreams, my family is killed and I am attacked. After the attack, I end up with twins. (Do the math.) During the attack, somehow, I end up blind. The twins are adopted by a family I know and trust, and who allow me to visit whenever I want. I end up spending a lot of time with the youth pastor, because he’s the only one who doesn’t have a spouse and children to worry about.
Lately, the story has been continuing with me either joining the FBI (thanks, Criminal Minds), or at least having a couple of bodyguards because of the situation. (Not sure why, but somehow…)
Also I have a seeing-eye dog.
I work through the trauma of the attack and losing my family and becoming blind. I still get a little upset or bitter about it on occasion when I talk it through, and I can no longer stand certain words or phrases or tones of voice, but I end up a survivor, not a victim.
And that’s it so far, really.
Oh, and my story ends up circulating the globe and good comes of it and… all of that.
I’ve written about it, creating characters and situations that illustrate good coming from apparently bad situations.
It’s weird, but it’s how my brain has been working the last few years.
Just thought I’d share. Because I think it’s a little different.
Anybody else like that?