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I actually typed this out with the intention of posting it on my Tumblr, but then decided against that… So I’m going to put it here. It’s something I’ve mentioned several times before, but I want to make the point again, in maybe a slightly different way than I have in the past.

And maybe you’re new to the blog (Hello! Glad you’re here! Hope you stick around!) and haven’t yet read the previous posts that talk about this. Or you’re a regular and didn’t get to read said previous posts. Maybe you have no desire to read about this particular subject. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I felt I needed to get this out.


Someone please tell me why romantic relationships are so important?


Since junior high (starting when I was 13, 7-ish years ago), it seems that the thing people focus on the most is dating.


Why worry about that when you’re 13, 14, 15, even 20 and in college?

Stress. Drama. A lot of the relationships I witnessed in junior high and high school lasted less than a month. There are very few I know of that survived after high school, or didn’t survive very long after graduation. Yet, when people started relationships, or ended them, it seemed everyone knew in a matter of minutes. Why? Why should I care who’s dating whom?

I know someone who dated someone for an hour. How is that a significant relationship? How do you even justify that as a dating relationship?

Why would you date more people than you can count on one hand, or even one finger?

I understand that you’re looking for “the right person,” but instead of jumping into a romantic relationship based solely on a few similarities or just physical attraction, or after being friends for a week or something, wait until you’ve known each other a long time and have observed each other around others to know that a long-term relationship with each other is plausible/possible. (Unlike my sister’s most recent ex who apparently didn’t really consider that he was moving to another state in eight months and maybe wasn’t ready for a “long-distance” relationship.)

Most people don’t fully know who they are or what they want out of life when they’re teenagers.

Grow up a little.

Learn who you are and what you want out of life and relationships, and THEN start dating.

It seems ridiculous to most people nowadays that I, a 20-year-old college junior, have never been in a relationship.

Why is that so weird?

Why is waiting for the right time and person a bad thing?

Why am I looked down upon for wanting to stay single until I am [mostly?] fully secure in my identity as a person?

Why shouldn’t I worry more about school than about dating?

Tell me why I should want a boyfriend now, when I have been doing just fine without one for almost 21 years.

Tell me why romantic relationships are superior to loving yourself and surrounding yourself with friends and family.

Yes, I’d like to date and get married someday.

But my boyfriend/husband is not going to be the final piece to my puzzle. He is not going to magically “complete” me.

He will love and support and encourage me, yes. But he is not going to be my world. And I will not be his.

We will be each other’s supporters, encouragers, best friends, yes.

But we will not be the only people in each others’ lives.

Right now, I have room in my heart to love a lot of people (non-romantically).

When I get married, that kind of love will be more difficult, because my head and my heart will tell me that I have to focus on my husband more than others.

I will not be able to love God the same way then as I want to now, because there will be another person vying for my love and attention.

For now, I am good with being single.

Are there days I want-slash-long for a relationship with a boy?

Sure. I’m human. We all long for those kinds of relationships.

But the longer I wait for that boy, the more worth it he will be.

Because I will have learned a lot more about myself and what I want out of a relationship.

Because I will have focused on loving myself first for now, and will be able to believe that someone else can love me as Jesus does/others do, and not doubt compliments and praise, nor hang my head in shame when I don’t feel “good enough.” I will be enough.

Because I will have developed friendships/(non-romantic) relationships with awesome people who will help me to learn how to love people in general, not just a boyfriend/spouse.

Why does it feel like no one else in all of time and space feels the same way I do about this stuff?